What Happens After Death?

(This is an audio and the text of a talk given October 2nd as the featured  speaker at Medium Kass Huff’s Ask a Psychic Meetup, please enjoy listening as you read)

People come to me often in great grief from the death of a loved one. Sometimes it is someone that they have loved and been partnered with for 40 to 50 or more years and suddenly that person is no longer in their life. And the reason they’ve come is they want the person to stay, even though they’re not in their physical body. They would like them to remain with them as if they were in body; they want to continue the relationship as it was. And they want a clear open line so that they can talk to them all the time; so they can ask them everything they want to; so they can hear their voice. They’ll even ask if here are classes so that they could learn how to do that so that they can continue this relationship with the person who died.

But the truth is, in our world, people and animals are meant to die and they are meant to go on and to move forward. And we are meant to accept the challenges that their death brings as well as the opportunities. When Lloyd died, I saw our chains, his and my life chained together, interlocked. And then his chain went this way and mine that way. It was not meant to be exactly the same.

It does bring some relief sometimes to talk to the people who have gone before and who are no longer with us. One person came in with terrible guilt. Her loved one had died under awful circumstances. They loved each other very deeply, but he had a debilitating illness. It was chronic and getting worse and worse and worse. And he was dying by inches. He got a cold, but his immune system was suppressed and he got pneumonia. And in that moment of death, the medical personnel are there. She’s there. They’re fighting to save him. To save him all the while he’s tearing out the cords and refusing the oxygen mask. And so instead of dying peacefully surrounded by his family, he died at this moment of terrible conflict.

And she could not forgive herself. What she needed was his forgiveness. And one of the things that death does do is give us a greater perspective. It doesn’t make us Holy, it doesn’t make us wise. It doesn’t make us angels. It makes us dead and we’re on to the next thing. But we do have a greater perspective. So, for instance, I’m here and this is what I can see, but if I were up a little higher, like on top of the building or even higher, I could see more, and I could see the pattern of the traffic instead of just the cars rushing by.

Death gives you a change of perspective

And so when people die, they have a broader perspective. And he told her, I know that what you did, you did from a place of love. It was pure love. And he explained to her that the pneumonia was a gift, that he was thankful to be able to die and it was a gift. He understood her actions, but he wanted to go and was ready to go.

People want to hold their person close to them and keep them here on earth. We forget how tantalizing and seductive the next world is. I mean, we are in grief, but there is this pull toward the most beautiful scenes at the end of the tunnel and what comes next. They’re ready for the next life and what goes on from there. And so they have an easier time being dead than we do being alive. They don’t miss earth like we miss them because there’s this wonderful thing in the future right in front of them.

Now it is true that some people don’t leave. They stay, they make a choice to stay. My son died of a major cardiac arrest instantly, just like that. And when I contacted him after his death, he was still here. He had a girlfriend from a war torn country. Her family was still there. She had seen more death than most of us ever will already. She was having difficulty in her job and he had been her anchor. He had been there for her, the thing that held her steady in this strange country. And he died completely unexpectedly. And so he was with her and watching over her.

And in the same way a grandpa said to me and to his wife, “Understand now that I can be with our grandchild in a way that I could never be before because I’m not bound by space and time. I can be with him.” And there is a difference between being with and protecting. And he said, “I can’t protect that child who chose to be born into those circumstances and to live their life and face those challenges, but I can be with them.” And so it is that our ancestors and those we love can be with us so that we are not  alone. And that’s a wonderful promise and a wonderful thing. If you’re looking for protection, Archangel Michael. Yeah, guardian angels. But those we love can be with us and we can talk to them.

Suicide is hard to understand…

So I wanted to also talk about other reasons that people come to me and one is suicide. Suicide is tough. It’s hard to understand for those who are left living. So this woman came, I had not met her before, because her fiancé killed himself in front of her. I looked and I saw him on earth as so angry, just boiling with anger. She said he was laughing when he pulled the trigger. What had happened is they were cleaning out an old box of stuff. There was a gun in it. He picked it up and it had a loaded chamber.

So when I talked to him about it on her behalf, he was happy that he died happy. He was a powder keg. He was angry and violent and he thought he would either kill someone or he would be killed. And it was a gift to go so quickly at a moment of laughter. And he said, “I get a do over. I can come back and do it again and do it better.”

Another woman killed herself very purposely. Her partner had broken up with her and she killed herself. She was, by all outside aspects, in the best of times and the best of lives. She was building her business. She was respected in the community. She had a major construction project going on and then this happened. And because she was part of the medical community, she knew how to kill herself quickly and permanently.

And so the dead also, on occasion, are self-reflective. And so when she talked to her sister through me, she said it wasn’t anyone’s fault. “I was always dark. I had attempted suicide before. This was bound to happen. It was just a matter of time when it would. It wasn’t something that was going to be solved.” She said, “I was always dark and I always relied on other people to shore me up, to make me happy, to pick me up. I never learned to do it myself. I never learned to be happy within myself.” She said, “I don’t think I learned what I was meant to learn on earth.”

So you do get that kind of reflection and sort of a self-judgment, but it’s not harsh. It’s an observation. Another person that I want to talk about: what she wanted from her mother. What she wanted her mother to recognize was that she had been abused by her father all of her young life and she wanted her mother to affirm that and acknowledge it, which she never had done in life. Did she get what she wanted? No. Her mother was at some in-between space where she was still very much like she was on earth, very vaporous, very indecisive. She held little beads like, and she said, “Well, I don’t know. I don’t know. I, I prayed. He was the head of the house. And so of course he did all the discipline and I went to church and I gave it to God. And, and yes, I, I heard the screams, but you know, how could I have moved? How could I have left? I would have no way to support you.” And she said, “I took you to a counselor and you told the counselor, nothing happened.” And her daughter said, “He told me he would kill me if I told.” And so in one sense she did not get what she wanted from her mother. She had not gotten it in life. But what she did learn is to trust her own experience.

And if there is judgment of some kind after death, I think that what happens is that, as we reflect on our lives after death, it may be that that woman will find herself in the same situation, but in a different role. Perhaps she will be the father, perhaps she will be the child. And I think we all go through these experiences on different sides of the issue: being both the perpetrator and the victim, being the torturer and the tortured. That we experience all of these and it helps build in us an understanding of others. It allows us to release judgment. It allows us to have empathy for others. And over these multiple lifetimes, we raise the vibration of the whole earth as everyone begins coming to more and more understanding.

Everyone’s experience after death is different…

And so what I really want to leave you with tonight is that people’s experience after they die, it’s not all the same. It’s different based on what our lives were here and it may take time to unfold. I see people often resting because coming to earth is challenging. I see people hovering and staying near and I also see others who have gone off. So there is no judgment. It is more like it’s an unfolding…there is. Also I want to leave you with the concept that each of us have had many past lives. Even within this life, you have had many past lives. I had my life as a child in a Navy town. Then I had my life as the wife of an appointed state official and then my life as an another entirely different role. And so if you want to leave stuff behind, one way to look at it is to say, that was a past life that’s over now. It was as much a past life as a 16th century life was. I can go on from there.

Or another way to look at it is that instead of having many lives, we all have one life. It began eons and eons ago, an expression of spirit that is still being informed in many, many different expressions, continuing on and on and on. And a wonderful saying from India. That is…

In the end it will be all right. And if it’s not all right, it’s not the end.”

And that is how our lives are. Even after death. It’s not the end.

Please feel free to Contact Me I look forward to talking with you.