How Can Unconditional Love and Happiness Work Together?
This is the second in a series of articles of a SEEKER looking for happiness…we began with the SEEKER asking this basic question: Is there happiness in my future? Which leads to further discussion…
SEEKER: What about unconditional love?
RESPONDER: Your life has been about striving for love and to love. The difficulty has been that you had no pattern. There was no model for what love could look like. In looking for love and friendship, you were rebuffed over and over again and there was a confusion about what unconditional love is and what it looks like and about one’s own self and boundaries.
You had this idea that unconditional love was sacrificing yourself on the cross. No, no, no, no. That was not the lesson that was to be learned. That is not what love is about. Love is about loving the person as they are and allowing them to be as they are and respecting their decisions and respecting their ability to solve their own problems. And then whatever choices they make…those are their choices.
What unconditional love is often perceived as…
The people that you gave everything to don’t see that as unconditional love. There were elements of:
- you owe that to me
- it’s your duty
- you have more than I do
- you’re healthier than I am
- you’re stronger than I am
- of course you should do this for me
That’s a very unhealthy relationship. You are learning a lot of lessons in this life through your relationships. It’s very difficult, because you’re having to clear away many ideas that have been with you since childhood and are unexamined. That’s why it is such a long journey.
You love animals; you love nature. You love people, but you can’t take them in very large doses because you tend to get around people who suck your energy. As you become mentally, emotionally, physically and spiritually healthier, you will find that you will resist the desire of people to give you their problems. You will be able to leave their problems with them.
Uncondtional love does have limits…
There are people who want to tell you all of these terrible things so that you will take on their problem for them. You then carry their load…They feel better afterwards. You feel worse. People get to have their own issues. You get to have yours. This is a form of unconditional love.
I love you and respect you and accept you as you are. I totally believe and know you have the wherewithal to solve whatever comes forward in your life.
- Allow people their power and allow yourself your power; your power to say no.
- Set boundaries.
- Recognize the impact of your actions on another.
- Recognize that loving someone sometimes means not doing what they want you to do.
I see that is difficult for you because you feel like doing what they want you to do is being loving toward them. That is not true. Sometimes the most loving thing is not to do what they want you to do.
You are going to have many opportunities to work on this. Many, many, many. Yes, indeed.
Please feel free to Contact Me I look forward to talking with you.
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